petite anglaise

clamped

22.04.2006 7:00 pmTadpole rearing
clamp.GIF

The air hostess motions us to a different seat, as our fellow passengers have unanimously ignored the allocations clearly marked on their tickets, with the result that mine and Tadpole’s have already been taken.

There is a ripple of laughter at my wake. Tadpole, whom I imagined to be trotting obediently behind me, has found a bearded surrogate grandad she likes the look of, seated herself by his side, much to his amusement, and is now engrossed in fastening her seatbelt.

I hasten to retrieve her, somewhat red-faced, and plonk her unceremoniously onto the window seat.

“Mummy?”

“Yees?”

“Can you hear my wee wee?”

I note her glassy eyed expression, one which I am familiar with, as our family bathroom had mirror tiles on the back of the bathroom door. Tadpole and I may not look alike, but sometimes, fleetingly, I see one of my own smirks or grimaces play across her face.

A shadow falls over us: a businessman is examining his ticket with a puzzled air. I look up, prepare to explain, wearily, that the entire aircraft has been subjected to an impromptu game of musical chairs.

I am, however, struck dumb by Tadpole’s next move.

“Mummy! Mummy!” she exclaims, painful, clamping fingers grabbing the front of my t-shirt. “Look! I found your nipples! They all pointy!”

I cast around for the button which will trigger my ejector seat.

In vain.

155 comments

  1. Ah, out of the mouths of babes…

    Alison | 7:25 pm

  2. oh, my.

    franko | 7:25 pm

  3. Alison got there first… What the guy’s reaction to that one? I bet he wasn’t bothered about the musical chairs too much after that!

    Greenmantle | 7:37 pm

  4. Oh My God… that while I am sure painful for you… is hysterical to me :)
    Thanks for the giggles

    stinkerbell | 7:45 pm

  5. Wow, that’s hilarious.

    The things that kids say…

    juliana | 7:53 pm

  6. Fantastic blog! I am visiting you from Vancouver, BC…and might be moving to your wonderful city at some point. Bonjour, and I will be back for a peek into your life with the tadpole from time to time!

    Tamara | 9:07 pm

  7. Ah dear… You can’t help but love them, but lord, some days…

    BoyOnTop | 9:59 pm

  8. One of those “please, God, let the Earth open up right here, right now, and swallow me whole” moments that probably make you sorry you ever taught her to speak.

    Would it have sounded better if she’d said it in French?

    The Bold Soul | 10:04 pm

  9. i guess this is why some animals eat their young!

    Holly | 10:07 pm

  10. Oh my God! The ubelieveable honesty of children! You can tell that in 20 years and you both will have a good laugh!

    carra | 10:57 pm

  11. Oh my gawd!!!!!!

    suze | 12:10 am

  12. Comme le disait Jacques Martin “Les enfants sont formidables!”Enfant j’avais l’habitude de dire “J’ai fais les couilles avec maman” au lieu de “J’ai fais les courses avec maman” Anyway!as you say de l’autre côté du Channel.

    the stuff the dreams are made of | 1:09 am

  13. Bless. . .

    Nicole | 1:40 am

  14. “i guess this is why some animals eat their young!”

    Dammit! That’s my line!!! ;-)

    Dave of the Lake | 2:07 am

  15. You couldn’t find a way to check Tadpole as luggage, huh? ;-)

    Dave of the Lake | 2:10 am

  16. Hmmm, I wonder if you tell her years down the road what she did if she’ll think you made it up, or embellishing something she did….A good reaction from you? – nothing maybe (if you can stand the pain-ack!) Hope the trip is/was good tho’!

    Terry | 4:08 am

  17. Kids, you’ve got to love them! Given there was no discipline in the seating, this must have been on an Air France domestic flight!

    Lost in France | 10:14 am

  18. Aww… bless her!
    Remind me not to travel with a toddler any time soon.

    Une Fille | 10:48 am

  19. Serve them right in business class! If they’d ceremoniously make way for single parents, this simply wouldn’t happen would it? I always feel tadpole is mor intuitive than others. ( Apart for mine, of course.) xx

    fjl | 2:04 pm

  20. I wonder how many blokes that heard Tadpoles comments, immediately had eyes like magnets.

    Theblonde | 2:28 pm

  21. That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time….as your first commentor said…”Out of the mouth of babes”!!!

    Madame Chiang | 3:03 pm

  22. Oh man. That’s hilarious. I love those moments. They are what make kids so much fun.

    Melanie | 3:46 pm

  23. Oh dear god!!!!

    My daughter did similar things, mostly to her dad … I had to read this post to my Belgian guy though, giggling and horrified on your behalf.

    On the bright side … wait till her wedding and be sure to be one of the speechmakers … ;)

    Di | 7:27 pm

  24. absolute horror and panic. I’ve had my girls point out the embarrassing in public before. I feel you completely.

    Gruntled | 8:05 pm

  25. I hope you had a witty comeback, and that you weren’t being watched by TOO many people on the plane :)

    the english guy | 9:51 pm

  26. At least she said pointy not saggy :-) ))

    Maurine au bout du monde | 10:21 pm

  27. Very funny :) I assume the businessman was an English speaker, though maybe I underestimate the English skills of French businessmen… and I guess the grabbing the shirt part could be embarrassing enough on it’s own!

    O. | 10:44 pm

  28. So that’s the strange smell that I can’t put a name to whenever I travel by plane!
    My mum told me that I once wee-ed (past tense of “to wee” anyone?” through a wicker chair which gave a collander-like quality to my production. I was three years old I hasten to add and never really believed her until I read your post. Definitely save it until she can read and then show it to her first boyfriend!

    Paris Lights | 10:49 pm

  29. OK I know I need to learn where the brackets are on my keyboard….sorry…

    Paris Lights | 10:49 pm

  30. well I guess she said what others saw…thick sweatshirts would cover such points, but then you would miss the fun of Tadpole! the joys of motherhood! when my son was tadpole’s age he once exclaimed when he saw a very fat man, “Look Mommy that man has a baby in his tummy and a baby in his bottom too!”

    tongue in cheek | 11:07 pm

  31. I now realise what the picture is of!

    Hywel Mallett | 12:28 am

  32. If it makes you feel any better, my son asked me today, “You don’t have a penis, do you?”

    At a street fair.

    In a crowd.

    I immediately hoped that the greasy fair food would strike me down with heart failure.

    21st Century Woman | 2:12 am

  33. Perhaps Hywel could enlighten me as to what the picture is…because I have absolutely no idea what they are. Well, I guess I have a hunch that they involve nipples.

    21st Century Woman | 2:20 am

  34. Wait, photo + title of post = realization.

    Eep!

    21st Century Woman | 2:21 am

  35. Gulp! You wouldn’t know it from the weather here in England yet, but reading the last few posts has convinced me, it must be Springtime!!

    Tom Tyler | 6:50 am

  36. grown-up talk

    Trevor | 9:37 am

  37. <tangent> I have a friend with a ticket to the upcoming Paris arctic monkeys concert to sell – they are playing the Bataclan in Paris on 2 May at 19.30 and the ticket cost is €25. Please drop me a line to the usual address if you are interested.

    (I will also be there.)

    </tangent>

    petite | 9:40 am

  38. You’ll be beating them off with sticks, petite

    Flighty | 10:03 am

  39. Who’s “tangent”?

    Trevor | 10:07 am

  40. sorry, that was horribly geeky and bloggery of me to use html speak/punctuation

    means “tangent starts here” then “tangent ends here”

    petite | 10:45 am

  41. Whatever. I suggested a cup of tea, but “the
    Arctic Monkeys” is one hell of a leap.

    Trevor | 10:51 am

  42. Arctic monkeys ROCK. Saw them when they played in a small club in Sunderland If he’s anything like a normal bloke then he didn’t need any assistance in locating pointy nipples, we have a sixth sense for this kind of thing you see.

    Lee | 1:47 pm

  43. god, does no-one want these tickets? As an extra enticement – Jim in Rennes will be there too. There may be drama and fireworks.

    Or not.

    Roll up!

    petite | 2:54 pm

  44. I’d love to go to the concert but my finances are low and I am something like 800 km from Paris pitty.. I would go there just to meet you in person!

    carra | 3:49 pm

  45. artic monkeys. schmartic spunkeys. I thought that Jim guy was old?

    As a side note, I went to Paris for the day on saturday, but unfortunately had a severe case of food poisoning, so if anyone saw me throwing up behind a disued portacabin, i can only apologise. My other choice was in the Seine. Trevor would never do such a thing.

    Hmmm | 3:49 pm

  46. What me? OK sure thing. Great. Do we know each other?

    Tangent | 4:06 pm

  47. Oh Petite, I have been there. Well, maybe not exactly, but had those types of moments.hours. I’m pretty sure the businessman would be happy to take another seat once he realized that Tadpole had dampened it!
    I have a 3.5 year old, and almost 2 year year old. Why do they love to talk about body parts in public? (-:

    Amy | 4:34 pm

  48. Old? What’s “old” have to do with it, eh?
    Though I guess since I don’t yet know who the Arctic Monkeys are, that might mark me as “old” right there. Or hopelessly débranché.
    My keenest wish is to find a good day for an overnighter at the Bario Latino sometime next week. I suppose that’s miles away from Arctic Monkey-land.

    Cheers, — Phil

    Phil | 8:17 pm

  49. I have just found out I’m pregnant, I had a chat with my four year old and told her that I have a “seed” in my tummy and that if all goes well it will become a baby…here is an extract of the conversation that followed:
    her: “did papa give you a seed to put in your tummy when you had a cuddle?”
    me : yes…
    h: “when?”
    me: euh, a little while ago…
    h: “yes but when? because I never saw”
    me: well thats normal, its private between adults…
    her: “oh. and when papa gave you the seed, did you eat it?”
    me: “how about we make fairy cakes my love?”

    croque madame | 9:39 pm

  50. Can’t believe that you can’t shift the Arctic Monkey ticket(s). When they played here in Sunny Bournemouth ‘pon Sea a few weeks ago the queues tailed back from the box office for hours until they were all sold out and many once hopefuls trudged home empty handed and disappointed.

    Miss Nomer | 12:26 am

  51. “her: “oh. and when papa gave you the seed, did you eat it?””

    Okay……….yes this is funny…….and now for the rude, crude, and socially unacceptable response….

    “yes, and momma now has new jewlery………”

    Sorry, couldn’t resist………….;-)

    Dave of the Lake | 12:46 am

  52. I hope someone takes you up on the tickets…a bit too far for me. But we absolutely request (demand?) a post about the time with Jim in Rennes!

    NicoleH | 12:47 am

  53. Our still-nursing two year-old is really into the word “nipple” these days. We’ve got a long flight coming up next month, and I can only imagine what he has in store for me. Let us know if you find the ejector button. I think I’m going to need it…

    She | 10:06 am

  54. Dave of the lake – Actually I quietly answered “not all of it” as her dad was sitting near by and I thought he might appreciate that answer more…

    she never heard so I came up with the cupcakes question when she asked me to repeat what I’d just said…

    petite, they get even more fun as they get bigger but their voices also get louder and the vocabulary richer..

    croque madame | 2:00 pm

  55. “Dave of the lake – Actually I quietly answered “not all of it” as her dad was sitting near by and I thought he might appreciate that answer more…”

    ROFLMAO!!!!!

    Dave of the Lake | 4:59 pm

  56. Semen jokes definitely are not on the list of reasons why I read Petite’s blog. Ew.

    So, Petite, who is going to be accompanying you to arctic monkeys?

    LJ | 8:32 pm

  57. sadly, it’s not Trevor.

    petite | 8:56 pm

  58. “Semen jokes definitely are not on the list of reasons why I read Petite’s blog.”

    ……..but nipple jokes are obviously……….

    Dave of the Lake | 9:22 pm

  59. Believe me dave, having your nipples tweaked by an overenthusiastic two year old is No Joke.

    petite | 11:20 pm

  60. Yeah. What she said.

    LJ | 1:52 am

  61. Having reflected on it a bit more, I wonder if the image attached to this story is related to the fact that no. 26 of the “33 things” has been changed.
    A colleague went to see the arctic monkeys the other day. He said they were excellent. I’m sure Jim in Rennes will be looking forward to it.

    Hywel Mallett | 2:14 am

  62. “Believe me dave, having your nipples tweaked by an overenthusiastic two year old is No Joke.”

    Oh I believe you, but, on the other side of the coin, having my three year old neice jump on me in the morning, shouting “wake up Uncle David!,” and landing squarely on my crotch isn’t fun either.

    Dave of the Lake | 2:50 am

  63. Having your shirt forceably lifted in public by a two year-old while he calls out “dooly! dooly!” (the word he uses when he wants to nurse) is also not as entertaining as one might think…

    She | 10:12 am

  64. I don’t like meeting people, especially for the first time, in crowded places. One always has to shout to make oneself understood. Just imagine.

    Petite: What did you say Trevor? I can’t hear you!
    Trevor: I said THAT YOU’VE GOT POINTED NIPPLES!!!

    Now, we don’t want that do we, surely.

    Trevor | 10:55 am

  65. Don’t count on me to lower the tone this time.

    Parkin Pig | 11:00 am

  66. my, this has all taken an interesting turn…
    Trevor, the comment would be better than reaching out and grabbing like Tadpole did…

    nrg | 3:36 pm

  67. Good heavens, no never.

    Then again, what with the loud music and the crowds, who knows – I might get disorientated.
    No, no the Arctic Monkeys are not for me.

    Trevor | 4:02 pm

  68. I really wish I knew if Trevor is really like he portrays himself or if he is just taking the piss.

    Petite- you need to find out and report back to us..

    David in London | 7:15 pm

  69. When it happened incidentally did you get all the usual muttering and tutting and scuffing from business class? ( O I do hate them sometimes!) xx

    fjl | 7:18 pm

  70. Well, hopefully the anecdotal value makes up for the embarrassment.

    homeimprovementninja | 8:19 pm

  71. Funnily enough, I once had a similar experience whilst au-pairing in Germany. One of my charges did to me just what Tadpole did to you, and then exclaimed:

    ‘Warum so kleine?’ (why so small?)

    So it could have been worse…

    Grande Anglaise | 8:44 pm

  72. Do I detect a budding comments box flirtation between this Trevor bloke and Petite ? Careful now. All it takes are the odd private email, going to a concert together and then before you know it there’ll be talk of renovating farmhouses in Britanny.

    Mancunian Lass | 9:28 pm

  73. The nipple made me laugh out loud!
    In fact I was forced to spit out my food…

    Liz | 9:35 pm

  74. Trevor definitely takes the weewee of himself, as it were. That’s what makes him so endearing…
    By the way, anyone got any idea about the French equivalent of ROFLMAO? Do they have one?

    LJ, what’s it stand for?

    Lucy-Jane (LJ, but not the same as LJ) | 10:36 pm

  75. Dave of the Lake, while all that is physically or psychologically painful, try having your three-year old come home from school when you have what you think is a stomach flu, jumping on you while you’re in bed, and rupturing your appendix. It happened to me, and the effects last a lot longer. Although a well-aimed jump on your niece’s part might yield permanent effects, too?

    Alethea | 10:40 pm

  76. Mancunian, I had the same feeling!! Let’s wait and see…

    Eau | 10:42 pm

  77. I would go with “Rolling on the Floor Laughing my Ass Off” or something similar.

    Which I am not doing right now. But I can’t talk about why.

    Yet.

    petite | 12:10 am

  78. ” Although a well-aimed jump on your niece’s part might yield permanent effects, too?”

    Alethea,

    Indeed, but fortunately her aim was off slightly. It was a glancing blow, but effective, nonetheless. As for your appendix, I guess she got at least a 9.5 from the judges on that one, huh? ;-)

    I’m glad my same neice was still a baby when I had my liver transplant surgery……..A similar event to yours would have have been messy, to say the least……

    Dave of the Lake | 12:37 am

  79. What’s with the test card as next post???

    David in London | 10:17 am

  80. My guess is, it’s the “blank screen” like the one you get, or used to get, when there’s nothing on TV.

    V. | 10:22 am

  81. Come on petite. We’re waiting…….

    suze | 10:27 am

  82. Oh my god…feel for you. Bless her…

    Generally_Speaking | 11:14 am

  83. V:

    Or, to use it’s proper term, ‘test card’.

    ;-)

    David in London | 11:17 am

  84. I think V was just suggesting that Petite has nothing much happening in her life at the moment, thus the use of the test card. We have to wait for more action. Although I’m not suggesting Petites life is a television programme designed for our amusement.

    But wasn’t there a programme in the 80’s with Anton Rogers about a british couple living in France?

    Hmmm | 1:26 pm

  85. French Fields!
    http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/tv/comedy/fresh.htm

    Hmmm | 1:27 pm

  86. I can’t wait for the white dot and the funny noise as the signal fades..

    meredic | 1:59 pm

  87. I reckon its something to do with NOT rolling on the floor with laughter that she can’t talk about – yet!
    Just hope its nothing awful Petite. You’ve had enough to cope with as it is.
    Hugs

    Sandy | 2:00 pm

  88. Ack! What does it mean?? It’s like a weird communicaiton from an alien civilization. Petite, I hope you’re OK.

    Lucy-Jane: LJ stands for Laura Joy. LJ is my childhood nickname.

    And would someone translate “takes the piss” into American for me? I can’t quite grasp it’s meaning from the context. If I had to guess I’d say “thinks a lot of himself” but I somehow doubt that really captures the subtleties of the phrase.

    LJ | 3:52 pm

  89. ‘Taking the piss’ out of (someone, something) means making fun of (someone, something).

    In Trevor’s case, I am asking whether he is really like he portrays himself to be, or whether he is creating a faux-naive persona, the intention of which is to use the faux-naivite to mock the conversation around him.

    Do you get what I mean??

    David in London | 4:27 pm

  90. naivety, rather.

    David in London | 4:33 pm

  91. David, I too would be interested to learn of Petite’s opinion on this matter.
    Sincerely.

    Trevor | 4:43 pm

  92. DIL: Aah. I see. I kind of sensed that about Trevor, too. Actually the manner in which Trevor entered the scene was pretty out there e.g. Petite’s “semi-detached” and “duality” posts.

    Trevor, oh sniffer of chemicals, are you really who you say you are?

    LJ | 5:18 pm

  93. sneering and scoffing behind a carefully constructed veneer of faux-naivete

    by dad, you’ve caught me out! how did you do it?

    Trevor | 5:28 pm

  94. Ha ha ha!! Whether you’re taking the piss or not, it is amusing…

    David in London | 5:36 pm

  95. Laura Joy – much prettier LJ than mine! ;-)

    Lucy-Jane (LJ, but not the same as LJ) | 8:32 pm

  96. Lucy-Jane, something rather horrifying just occurred to me. Did I steal your http://www.petiteanglaise.com comments name? Were you LJ before I was LJ? If so, my apologies and I’ll quickly choose another name. I kind of like the name “Trevor”, what do you think? Or does “Uranus” sound better? I hate making big decisions like this…

    LJ | 8:47 pm

  97. Hold on! Have I become some sort of a figure of fun on these pages, some sort of a laughing matter or what? I could very well pack my bags and leave the whole lot of you to wallow in your natural state of mealy-mouthedness you know. In fact now come to think of it I will. Well I’ve made my decision, I won’t be back for a while, and my return will be conditional. I’ve had enough!

    Trevor | 9:21 pm

  98. Oh la la, voilà Trevor quî pique sa crise … Et Petite qui nous joue la mire … Tout fout le camp, ma brave dame!

    Lola | 9:53 pm

  99. This blog is full of surprises !! In the Petite’s posts, but in the comment box, as well.
    Come back Petite ! Without you…

    Jujuly25 | 10:30 pm

  100. Yes, come back petite, we need somebody to steer this ship…………!

    suze | 12:00 am

  101. (Just thought I’d round the comments up to a nice round 100)

    suze | 12:01 am

  102. LJ – funnily enough, I sign my comments LJ everywhere else except here, even on work mails and everything, but on PA I’ve always signed Lucy-Jane. Sweet of you to be concerned, thankyou!
    BTW, people always asked me when I was at school if my name had American origins…perhaps it is more American than I thought! ;-)
    And I know Trev is still there, he’s watching to see what people’s reactions are…aren’t you Trev?

    Lucy-Jane (LJ, but not the same as LJ) | 12:07 am

  103. Maybe Petite jsut found out she’s preggers? Hmmmm that thought just popped into my head…

    :)

    Kiora | 12:47 am

  104. Trevor, please don’t go just yet. If you go, who will teach us big words like “sychophant”?

    LJ | 1:39 am

  105. What is that picture? It looks a bit like a Trouble game board.

    Janna | 1:52 am

  106. This is a weird comment, but Dave of the Lake, did you REALLY have a liver transplant? Or is that some humor I’ve missed?

    jouf | 3:49 am

  107. “This is a weird comment, but Dave of the Lake, did you REALLY have a liver transplant? Or is that some humor I’ve missed?”

    jouf,

    LOL!! Yes, I did indeed have a liver transplant, August 1, 1997. Petite can vouch for it as well.

    Dave of the Lake | 4:36 am

  108. Well, my husband had one too, Feb 2001 – I donated 60% of mine to him. UCLA’s first husband/wife and nonrelated donor transplant. He’s in my debt forever more! It’s truly amazing what they can do.

    jouf | 5:25 am

  109. OK, I’m sorry for blowing a fuse. We had been drinking whisky on the way back from work. It makes me paranoid.

    Trevor | 8:51 am

  110. Ha ha ha!!!

    I am literally wetting myself with laughter…

    David in London | 10:14 am

  111. Christ I wouldn’t even give my last rolo. Not that I’m married. Or have any rolos.

    Trevor: I think you have every reason to be paranoid. The amount people have been questioning your identity, your opinions, nay even your reality on this comments page, has led me to beleive that you are being spied upon right now.

    Hmmm | 10:58 am

  112. give my husband. Dumbass.

    Hmmm | 10:59 am

  113. 11:32am. No sign of Trevor.

    David in London | 11:32 am

  114. I blame the whiskey.

    Hmmm | 11:55 am

  115. Janna,

    Its what they used to show on TV in the UK (and maybe other places?) when the channel was off the air or something. and also had with it this annoying high pitched continuous tone over the top. Aaah nostalgia…

    Lee | 12:23 pm

  116. And the woman in it is now in her 40s..

    David in London | 1:01 pm

  117. Jouf
    Why did you have to give him 60% of your liver? That doesn’t sound very fair. Couldn’t you have gone 50-50? I know livers reconstitute themselves (clever things) but that must take some time. Could you function OK with only 40% of your liver?

    Mancunian Lass | 2:42 pm

  118. Getting worried about Petite. So worried that I am writing in incomplete sentences.

    LJ | 2:46 pm

  119. That test card used to spook me out when I was little, I thought the toy looked incredibly sinister – still do, I can’t look at it for long without shuddering. And if any of you saw the fantastic TV series Life on Mars on the BBC recently, set in the early 1970s, you’ll know that the writer of the series must have had the same childhood perception as me. Wasn’t Life on Mars just perfect(as well as funny)? You’re right, Lee, nostalgia…

    Helen | 2:49 pm

  120. “Why did you have to give him 60% of your liver? That doesn’t sound very fair. Couldn’t you have gone 50-50? I know livers reconstitute themselves (clever things) but that must take some time. Could you function OK with only 40% of your liver?”

    Manchurian,

    On the premise that you are not being tongue in cheek, yes the liver can indeed regenerate, but you need a certain amount to maintain adequeate function. 60% is the standard that is used in adult-to-adult living donor transplants. Children up to a certain age can make do with 10% in adult-to-child transplants. THe donor can function with 40% and regenerate just fine. The recipient however, is already quite ill, and you want to be able to give them as much as possible so that the liver can do what it does best as it performs over 500 different functions, and after the brain, is the next largest organ in the body. BTW, the regeneration time is 4-6 weeks. (Boy are we WAY OT here…)

    In addition to being a liver recipient, I am a former NYC paramedic, and I worked for a year as an organ procurement coordinator on a transplant team. (Surgical coordinator, second surgical assist.)

    Dave of the Lake | 3:45 pm

  121. Ha! this is turning into a sort of mini chat-room, petite will be proud (hope you’re okay petite)

    suze | 3:56 pm

  122. i always thought the skin was the biggest organ?

    Is there any other organ that they can lop 60% off and it will grow in the recipient? Amazing. Does that mean now that you have someone elses DNA reproducing inside you (if the cells are regenerating)?

    Hmmm | 4:12 pm

  123. So how’s your liver, Trevor?

    Parkin Pig | 4:16 pm

  124. In addition to being a liver recipient, I am a former NYC paramedic, and I worked for a year as an organ procurement coordinator on a transplant team. (Surgical coordinator, second surgical assist.)

    Dave of the Lake | 3:45 pm

    Which way round did this happen? I am struggling with a particularly ghoulish scenario.
    I always thought my job titles were conversation killers but “organ procurement coordinator” must have had lots of people saying “how fascinating” while edging away into the lightest part of the room.

    laurence | 4:21 pm

  125. Thanks, Lee. I would never have figured that out. I don’t think we have anything like that here.

    janna | 4:22 pm

  126. Hmmm

    I’m no expert on DNA or anything, but maybe the organ grows from the recipients own stem cells, I don’t think there’s ever been a successful DNA transplant :-P , they could probably cure autism or something if that was how it worked. No idea if thats right, but it SOUNDS flashy enough to be accurate ;-)

    Helen, I would have watched tLife on Mars but the music on the advert put me of to such a degree I couldn’t stomach watching the show. And yes, sorry petite if this is going way off track or anything.

    Lee | 4:24 pm

  127. Where are you Petite??

    David in London | 4:39 pm

  128. 17:53h. No sign of Trevor.

    David in London | 5:53 pm

  129. No petite, no Trevor…..mmmm

    suze | 6:03 pm

  130. Ptt and Trevor run away together…to some excotic islands! Drinking cocktails and making love wildely while we are worrying for them! Or maybe they are both just looking at us and seeing how we react in their absence!!

    Eau | 6:27 pm

  131. Trevor is in a drunken stupor.

    I’m still thinking about the liver thing. I would imagine that the cells would divide by the normal manner (i.e. mitosis), therefore you’d have someone elses DNA reproducing inside you…but it wouldn’t spread into any other tissue. I have a Biology degree, i really should know and it bothers me. Not enough to google it though.

    Life on Mars was VERY good. I wasn’t alive in the ’70’s but my boyfriend (who was) was obsessed with it. And i fancy the blonde guv guy.

    It does feel a bit weird with both Trevor and Petite completely out of contact. And I’ll have the whole bank holiday to wait before I find out what’s up.

    Happy weekend everyone! Bring on the booze xxxxx

    hmmm | 6:44 pm

  132. Perhaps Trevor is accompanying petite to the arctic monkeys concert after all!!

    suze | 7:34 pm

  133. The liver regenerates because the liver cells themselves divide & replicate–so you do have another person’s DNA replicating inside your body. As for autism, there’re multiple suspected susceptiblity genes, and likely a large environmental component that may occur prenatally–so a total DNA transplant would probably have to occur before the 2nd trimester (obviously well before the autism diagnosis is made and not entirely practical). Not that I’m currently writing a paper on the subject or anything . . . hurrah for grad school! (and boo for no petite posts to distract me from work)

    emily | 8:03 pm

  134. Just realized the arctic monkeys concert isn’t until may 2nd, so that blows that theory out of the water. Maybe Trevor is just mischief making by staying out of the mix, and sitting back and having a good laugh.

    suze | 9:04 pm

  135. Hello,
    I’m a new blogger. I noticed you’re a top blogger. Well done, nice material. My kids have given me an excuse to write myself. Being a dad brings up its days of do-do to contend with. ha-ha.

    K | 11:23 pm

  136. Lordy, petite, your comment box is a hotbed of conspiracy theorists, isn’t it? It’s great fun. If, you know, slightly obsessive and a bit odd. But in a nice way.

    Thinking of you, poppet. Will email.

    anna | 11:52 pm

  137. I hope your week-end is amazing, Petit!

    Gruntled | 1:33 am

  138. Well, I see I don’t need to add anything about how that liver thing all worked. Gave him some liver cause I really wanted the man back to WORK! Swear I could feel it growin back like a baby.

    Anyway, I think we need a Petite story. Otherwise we’re just going to have to make one up.

    jouf | 4:24 am

  139. The answer is obvious – Tadpole gave Petite a bump on the head, it’s knocked her out and she’s awakened to find she has been transported back to 1983, where she is now happily clubbing away to the sound of New Order. The testcard is a subliminal message. We need to keep talking to her, as random bits of our comments will filter back into her 1983 dream-world, and she’ll work out why she was sent there, which will enable her to return.

    Tom Tyler | 7:35 am

  140. Maybe, just maybe, Petite’s abit fed up with commenters commenting on her lovely blog to get themselves noticed and to increase their stats.
    I can’t say I’d blame her. xx

    Petite enjoy your break and get with some good upbuilding company. x

    fjl | 9:49 am

  141. I agree wholeheartedly with fjl.
    There are those in this comments box who’d go to any length just to get themselves noticed

    Trevor | 11:10 am

  142. I suspect a well-calculated ruse by our bella blogette. The hook (or is it a worm) in her final comment, the test card without beep, classic rock tracks (Eye of the Tiger by the LPO) or even an alt tag naming the picture as is her usual want. An Agatha Christie disappearing trick or a pending Reggie Perrin, maybe it is all over and the experiment nearly complete. Perhaps the site’s comments box will morph into a multi-layered blog, not unlike those livers and serve as a wordy epitaph for PA.

    Lionel | 1:59 pm

  143. I sense some toungue in cheek Trevor. ;-)

    Seriously though the whole ‘point scoring come and look at my blog’ thing makes me lift my eyes to heaven sometimes!…… chill x

    fjl | 1:59 pm

  144. fjl, seems a funny thing to concern yourself with. But I’m glad I could come look at your blog because I thought it was beautiful. Loved your writing, creativity, the pictures.

    jouf | 4:52 pm

  145. Petite, Petite, wherefore art thou Petite?

    :)

    Le Cornouaillais | 10:35 pm

  146. Jouf, thanks and welcome. xx

    Sometimes I just wish we could keep the friendships as simple as real life on the blogs, and avoid all the competitive stuff.
    I love it when it’s like that. x

    fjl | 2:47 pm

  147. Ok, the longer your test card is up there, the more I start to feel like a stalker. Every time, without fail, I even touch a computer I check your page hoping for an update.

    I’ve never checked a website this obsessively in my life (with the exception of waiting on grad school acceptance — I checked the student central online about once every 30 minutes in hopes of an update for about two weeks).

    21stcenturywoman | 4:47 pm

  148. Good! Glad to see petite has acknowledged her silence. When ordinary bloggers are offline it’s no big deal, but with petite we need reassuring! thanks! Looking forward to reading about what’s been happening, and I hope it’s good things.

    Paris Lights | 11:29 pm

  149. Petite would not impose a week-long, or so, interlude for a frivolous reason…. to paraphrse an earler comment she made, “not blogging would be like amputating an arm”.

    So, it must be a serious matter. Perhaps difficulties with the flat purchase in Bellevlle? Or someone has tipped off the office ‘boss’ about her posts making reference to him? Or Mr Frog has read more than he can stomach about the ‘good time girl’ activities and has applied for custody of Tadpole? Or Michael Winner/John Prescott has been in touch to offer P a new job as his ‘diary secretary’? Or. saints forbid, P and FB have shot opff for a week long fling in Venice or somewhere?

    fella | 11:31 pm

  150. I have just discovered you and you touch my own memories in a wonderfully happy way and for that I thank you. Please keep on writing and if you are ever in the mood for sharing our childrens’ annecdotes then feel free to email…

    Kind regards,

    Steve. (also an exile from uk living in Paris)

    steve | 2:47 am

  151. Cuteness. Loving this blog !

    Alicia | 6:59 am

  152. Have a good holiday break Petite, I will miss your posts but I am looking forward to your summary of what you did during the time off-line.

    I was going to recommend you to get out of France to get the best out of a holiday, but I just did and found myself in the uncomfortable situation of sharing part of my trip with French people, so, we are not safe anywhere anymore!

    Cheers!

    Uranus | 2:13 pm

  153. Perhaps we should keep all speculation to ourselves. Patience.

    LJ | 2:50 pm

  154. I hope you go away Petite Anglaise – this blog is one of the worst things I have ever come across, it just reeks of desperation! Talk about prostituting everything you may have that is private cos you pathetically need to be validated by total strangers… Still, keeps all my friends and me laughing – like car crash tv, so bad you cant keep reading!

    Anna | 3:50 pm

  155. Yeah, if you get really desperate for something to read you could try Uranus’ blog. Then again…

    Claire | 5:10 pm