petite anglaise

just who is raymond delauney?

99 comments

1. You have to admit, it is amusing though..

   Sound like Trevor to me..

   David In London | 4:38 pm

2. Gay sailor film, Laurent Gloaguen…

   Pulcinella | 4:45 pm

3. HA HA HA That is so funny! Thanks for sharing, just what I needed today. Have a great weekend, get the folks to spoil you.

   Maria | 4:45 pm

4. Terry Thomas, School for Scoundrels, ring any bells? The way I heard it Bowled Over in Basra is buggered and the Syrian footie flick Where Da Hells’Ma’Bollah? is flavour of the day.

   fibsor | 4:48 pm

5. “Hey Kid”?!?! Have you ever!!

   Maria | 4:48 pm

6. I Think you are being wound up, play him at his own
   game… hang in there.

   john g. | 4:49 pm

7. Hey, I hope it made you laugh. It’s pretty amusing.

   It’s either a spoof, or the guy is completely barmy

   Donta | 4:56 pm

8. Too wierd. Welcome to public life.

   Damian | 5:00 pm

9. It’s spam, Petite, nothing more. Granted, it’s unusually well written spam, but it is spam; treat it as such: ignore it, delete it, block the address, notify your ISP, but don’t open it if you can help it and never, never reply to it.

   Postmodern Sass | 5:01 pm

10. Do I get a prize if it is Laurent Gloaguen ?

    Pulcinella | 5:03 pm

11. Hi !

    regardless to the content of his mail, it could be a good idea to use the high hits amount of your blog for some marketting purposes

    Sla. | 5:09 pm

12. The only thing missing from that is “Have your people call my people and we’ll do lunch. Ciao.”

    homeimprovementninja | 5:12 pm

13. Post the email header so we can all see his IP address

    Mark | 5:19 pm

14. Someone with way to much time on his hands.

    Suze | 5:20 pm

15. Sounds a bit like the Henry Root letters - is he still alive?

    Alan | 5:23 pm

16. I’m new here, and just started reading about a month ago, and wanted to say hello. This site is definitely a good way to fill down time at work. As for this most recent post, it looks to me like some crazy fellow looking for attention.

    Adam | 5:29 pm

17. and guess what Terry Thomas’s character was called in “The School For Scoundrels” (or How to Win Without Actually Trying)?

    Raymond Delauney

    Well spotted Fibsor

    SimonInBrussels | 5:33 pm

18. The “Hey, Kid” is straight off of Sex and the City.

    JO | 5:40 pm

19. Yaxlich thinks this is probably someone on a wind up. He wonders if the person should be called Raymond Delooney although he does ask an interesting question. What is a Ulay? Yaxlich has a list somewhere of questions he needs answering. He will add this to the list.

    Yaxlich | 5:48 pm

20. Sad bastard, but funny all the same! Give him a wide berth Petite or send me his email and I will have my children stalk him! Good Post!! Lisa

    Lisa | 5:50 pm

21. Hey Petite,
    It all starts to click into place, regarding Trevor’s comment about some chap who wasn’t ….how shall I put it… nurtured correctly, when young.
    I’m taking a guess, that it isn’t Trevor…his weary comments, are another thing completely…and it’s certainly not me, as I’m partial to a bit of silly wordplay, but would never find any enjoyment to be had, from some kind of con letter. I remember many years ago, if I’m correct, that the playwright, Joe Orton, used to pull pranks on exclusive London hotels, by sending them weird, accusatory letters….pretending to be some ‘old dear’ that had stayed in their fine establishments…. So someone is pulling ‘The Ghost of Joe Orton’ on you….. I hope you crack this one. Best of luck JP
    P.S. thanks for sorting out my ‘Tired & Emotional’ missive from this morning, I’m chucking back the aspirin, and watching the Rome series, on DVD, to cheer myself up….

    JP | 6:00 pm

22. Hmmm. It’s just whacky enough, it could be real…

    Jim | 6:00 pm

23. Some of you are a bunch of monkeys thinking this is spam!

    It’s clearly a mate of petites having a laugh. Genius!!

    Amy | 6:00 pm

24. *snigger*

    JonnyB | 6:12 pm

25. ha, that’s great. come on people, who was it. fess up. well written though, i’ll give them that.

    Hammers | 6:16 pm

26. HAHAHA, It’s priceless!! I’m willing to bet that whoever it is is laughing even harder than the rest of us…

    Alda | 6:19 pm

27. Jonny? What was the meaning of that snigger? Are you calling my (double) bluff? I did notice that one day, I got an email from you, and another from “Raymond”, in quick succession. Hmm.

    (raymonddelauney@yahoo.co.uk)

    petite | 6:23 pm

28. Under the circs this email is hardly amusing. The writer sounds like a self-satisfied smartarse to me. Don’t waste any more time on the tosser :o)

    David H | 6:28 pm

29. I think someone suggested you share his e-mail with us … we could really have fun with that! Bloggyville is an interesting world. ; )

    Smoochez,
    The Tart
    ; )

    Cheap Tart | 6:28 pm

30. Geesh, now I feel stupid for offering an agent contact. It didn’t occur to me that you’ve probably got hundreds of offers lined up. BTW, I looked up Inkwell on Predators & Editors and they check out as legit. I think it’s wonderful that they approached you and a good sign of a successful writing career.

    Good luck to you, Petite, and I hope all this publicity doesn’t change your blog persona.

    Becky | 7:32 pm

31. Hi petite…

    Having discovered your blog a few days ago in an article on the Cyberpress here in Quebec, I am playing catch-up and reading all of the previous posts (and I mean ALL, every word). I am now up to date as of February 2005… Like I told you by e-mail, I love your writing style. In a few more days I should be arriving on this page…

    Gilles | 8:30 pm

32. Petite, you’re emotions are running high. Don’t let this stuff get to you. Just toss it in the trash bin and click delete. One glance and it’s got tosser written all over it. Just forget it babes.

    debs | 8:31 pm

33. It’s not getting to me, kiddo, I’m just wondering if I know the joker or not.

    I suppose it could almost be my real agent playing tricks. Who knows…

    petite | 8:41 pm

34. I think that if you don’t know him, you ought to! He’s a blast and obviously thinks you’ll enjoy a bit of quirky humor — he’s probably out there thinking very funny thoughts all of the time and RARELY finding anyone worth sharing them with. It’s true flattery …

    Sorry if he’s a bother, but I just love him! It was brilliant.

    dora pirate | 9:14 pm

35. Oh! well, I definitely prefer your own writing style - and your own sense of humour.

    Choubine | 9:17 pm

36. Try and keep positive Petite, life has it’s ups and downs and in times of adversity I always remember the old adage “life is a minestrone served up with parmesan cheese.” Someone wrote a song about it once but I can’t remember who…obviously someone with bags of insight though!

    Susannah | 9:36 pm

37. Bloody funny post though!!

    Denise | 9:36 pm

38. That sounds like JonnyB to me.

    julie | 9:53 pm

39. Hmmm. That’s what I wondered (see 22). Jim x

    Jim | 10:00 pm

40. “School for Scoundrels or How to Win Without Actually Cheating”, the 1960’s movie just happens to have the character Raymond Delauney. He is to say the least a scheming scoundrel! Has he resurfaced?!It would appear so! Lisa

    Lisa | 10:39 pm

41. Not your style but interesting! N’est-ce pas?.
    Sorry but maybe I’vev been reading too much Gatsby recently. F. Scott Fitzgzerald and PA are my alltime favourites along with John Updike.
    Your comments box flies higher than most.

    Parkin Pig back in shorts | 10:44 pm

42. Sorry my (native) English has been corrupted by too much French.

    Parkin Pig back in shorts | 10:47 pm

43. Not meaning to end your detective carrier, but these mails are nothing else but spam, unusual but still spam. This is a new technic used to try to circumvent current spam defenses.

    chto | 11:00 pm

44. I think this ‘agent’ deserves an agent. Maybe he’s after yours. I love stuff like that. Who cares if it’s a waste of time.

    Francesca | 11:10 pm

45. Oh goody, Pig is back. JP, you really need, to cut back on, all the commas.

    LJ | 11:28 pm

46. Oh, I also meant to write that I am not sure it’s correct to call this email “spam”. I mean, by definition spam is full of boilerplate language and is sent to vastly more than one person at a time, and not specific to an individual beyond a name, too. Am I wrong about that? Can one piece of junk mail be called spam? Could I split hairs any finer here?

    LJ | 11:35 pm

47. Too surreal for my jet-lagged brain — I am just recovering from traveling on the day that the liquid terrorist attack was announced (see my post - http://cyberfrance.blogspot.com/2006/08/plane-waiting.html).

    I hope that you will figure it out shortly or throw it in the bin. Nothing like wasting time over nonsense.

    Lost in France | 11:49 pm

48. He’s not me, you eejut. I just worked out if I typed “*snigger*” in there, I’d get loads of hits from your detective-type readers.

    No double bluff. I think I know who it might have been, though.

    JonnyB | 12:48 am

49. My apologies for being so familiar.

    I do wish you the best. Hope something really amazing comes out of this for you and your little girl.
    Best~d

    debs | 12:57 am

50. To paraphrase
    you have the technology
    Tracker and block the IP address then forward him the other spam you get.
    To paraphrase again
    They don’t like it up em
    Sorry, showing my age!

    j | 1:04 am

51. Petite, I sent you (via email) some information on using email message headers to perhaps provide some additional clues as to the source of the emails. It might not tell you what you want to know because it’s not foolproof, but you never know, it might help. So keep an eye out for that in your email.

    Clearly this guy has too much time on his hands. NOBODY loves THIS “Raymond”!

    The Bold Soul | 1:18 am

52. ‘Ray’ posted the following in the last blog ‘Home’ (at No.61):
    > I heard that Petite has turned down a kind offer to >work with one of the great PR moguls in the ndustry, >a top guy who goes by the name of Delauney.
    >I’ve heard he’s good, very good. I think the kid has >made a big mistake here.

    Obviously he’s your first appearance of the ‘Raymond Delauney’ character.

    A creative writer with a wicked sense of humour who sells himself (how do we know that it’s a he?) daily to the media to earn a crust. No shame in that, maybe he’s a Tease with Talent

    Why do I always get to write the sensible and obvious posts, this one reminds me of my mother.

    I can change, I can change…

    Like Jonathon says, I’ll get banned if I continue like this.

    Andrew | 1:49 am

53. Do you reckon he meant “Oil of Olay”??? Think this is an indication that it IS a joker who just can’t spell.

    kate | 2:49 am

54. i am perplexed too. but cyber space is like that.

    simon | 3:21 am

55. Definately a spam letter from a thinking spammer. Now you’ve posted the email addy he’ll harvest a swag of legitimate email address from your irate fans.

    Gil | 3:31 am

56. Love it!

    The comments on this site are almost as interesting to read as your own writing Petite. Keep up the good work!

    The guy obviously has a good sense of humour and right now you might be needing a good laugh - I certainly do!

    If it gets personal or nasty report it otherwise enjoy it. I certainly do!

    Tattieheid | 4:40 am

57. Too many “I certainly do’s”

    Must be the lack of sleep - or maybe that second bottle of red wine!

    Tattieheid | 4:46 am

58. he is pretty funny…

    jackie | 7:00 am

59. chto (Comment 43): How can it be spam? Spam is, by definition, a mass emailing thing, fishing for the random. This looks too targeted, too specific, to be spam. Jim

    Jim | 8:52 am

60. Hmm, well, the IP address doesn’t match that of any of my other commenters.. but I know that it’s easy enough to cover one’s tracks.

    I guess it will always remain a mystery.

    Now I will concentrate on travelling on a plane with a toddler, no toys and only a clear plastic bag for company.

    Let’s hope it doesn’t end up over my head.

    petite | 9:31 am

61. Good luck with the traveling. Coming from the US it was supportable, but then again we just had to take out the liquids and could still bring on a carry-on bag.

    Lost in France | 10:00 am

62. The Oil of Ulay bit may well be a clue as to his identity because it always used to be called that before it was changed to Oil of Olay. I think the change happened about ten years ago….so maybe we’re dealing with an older man here….is this a breakthrough or is the plot thickening!?

    Susannah | 10:36 am

63. Poor you - and Tadpole. Hope it’s not a long flight.
    Is there anything you can (safely) give her to make her sleep?

    Sablonneuse | 10:40 am

64. Hello you lovely people. I can’t see why so many of you are so anti Raymond. I gotta say it’s pretty damned funny and I for one am not against a laugh. I can’t see anything maliscious in it. It’s a bit of fun. Leave it at that. I thank you.

    Mike Da Hat | 10:45 am

65. Oil of Ulay is actually a regional variation which could hint at where the sender is from. Now just cross reference that with countries holding boots franchises.

    (Or alternatively look up the IP address; it’s less CSI though)

    Hugo | 11:02 am

66. Mmmmnnn, very intriguing. heheeh

    Banana | 11:31 am

67. Or hers.

    C’mon, one must suffer for one’s lifestyle as well as for art. Strength through adversity and no moaning at the back!

    Andrew the Obvious

    Andrew | 11:37 am

68. Doesn’t this Blog log IP addresses ? Feed it back into Google or look up the country code from the header……then put an IP block on it.

    Rick | 12:29 pm

69. Now I will concentrate on travelling on a plane with a toddler, no toys and only a clear plastic bag for company.

    You’d look weird with a clear plastic bag over your head - it is only polythene ones that are dangerous - a PVC one would just get you quickly certified.

    Lufthansa always used to allow only one carry-on bag so whilst women could have handbags and a carrier, poor men had to decide between laptop and briefcase.

    They should do the old Soviet think they did at Sheremetyevo where you had to unpack everything in front of the official and it took 4 hours to board a plane.

    Petite, has Tadpole never seen a boat or a hovercraft ?

    Rick | 12:33 pm

70. To add my (or wikipedia’s) 2 cents, it’s a he, because otherwise chances are he would have known Procter & Gamble rebranded the thing ‘Oil of Olay’ in 1999. And he’s not German, Swiss or Austrian because it’s called Olaz over there. And to go completely overboard their telly adverts were a late 80s thing so wouldn’t be surprised if he was a teenager then and early 30s now. Phew, that should narrow it down a bit. Glad to help.

    Hercule | 12:44 pm

71. Kate
    There used to be a skin cream called Oil of Ulay, I remember my mother using it way back in the 50’s/60’s. I think it got re-branded as something else, had a very distinctive colour and smell! It does give a clue to this guy’s age - he must be in his 40’s at least to remember it.

    Never mind Petite, I’m sure Tadpole will keep you amused until you get home to your toys!

    Tattieheid | 1:42 pm

72. It’s a mystery! It is obvious that this joker has been trying to get our’s and Petite’s attention for awhile. He or she, (I think we could all be surprised at who this might be), is probably sitting at their laptop having a great big laugh.

    It is all good though, and I’ll admit it’s very entertaining. I for one, am going to run out and rent the DVD “School for Scoundrels or How to Win Without Actually Cheating”. Maybe then I can pick apart the comment box and gather all the clues that match.

    Or am I being naive? Maybe this isn’t even a real movie. You can tell, I don’t have a life.

    Sam | 2:39 pm

73. Is the IP consistent over all mails you received from this mysterious fantomas ?

    Jacques Clouseau | 2:39 pm

74. Kate - ‘Oil of Olay’ used to be called ‘Oil of Ulay.’ This could give us a clue as to his identity. He is somewhat behind in the cosmetics department, but he does remember Ulay from back in the day. I don’t know what clue this gives though. Perhaps that he used to have a girlfriend and has been single for ages. Ooooh, that narrows it down. Or maybe that he just hasn’t been to Boots in a really long time…We’re getting hotter…

    redlady | 3:23 pm

75. I recommend books, books and more books for toddlers on a plane. Prayer might be good too. It’s really terrible that we’ve lost our electronic toys, computers and ipods on planes, where they make the most of otherwise lost time. Bon voyage.

    Funny post/email, and even funnier comments. Plus the bonus discussion of what constitutes spam! I’m guessing he/she said Oil of Ulay because Oil of Olay is trademarked.

    Thanks!

    Sophmom | 6:02 pm

76. Hi Petite,
    Did you survive the flying by numbers scenario? Strangle Tadpole or not? Wrap a clear poly bag round someones heid or generally hold off to go ballistic when you arrived in sunny France?

    I think you are very brave ( sort of) “Bon chance Cherie” the only French I remember but it may have merit! Or not as the case may be.

    Tattieheid | 12:14 am

77. Hello, an interesting way of passing time on the plane is to use the safety information card to make up a story (or four). You don’t even need a toddler beside you, if you are brave enough to ward off the strange glances you’ll receive. I love your blog. Keep truckin.

    Barshy | 12:20 am

78. Dear Miss Perplexed,

    If you look at ‘Wardrobe malfunction’ (Comment No. 96) you will find another spurious gentleman, skin obsessed (as in complexion, appearance etc.) who could be your lurking stalker, practising another of his deceits.

    He, too, seems determined to meet you and make you rich. But his are empty promises, made by a bounder to an honest woman of (temporarily) straitened circumstance.

    Obviously a Cad of the first water. Someone with whom a woman of modest character (and such moral virtues as you possess) should have nothing to do.

    So, is Lord Doughfull and Raymond Delauney one and the same scoundrel? I think we should be told.

    Andrew the Obvious | 12:35 am

79. That’ll be fun, flying with Tadpole and no toys. The airlines should put on entertainment for the littlies in this time of crisis for mothers. A black haired clown with a full bushy beard wearing a robe would go down well.

    Gil | 2:36 am

80. Thanks for clarifying the distinction betw “ulay” and “olay.”
    Good luck Petite! I’ve enjoyed your posts for months!

    Kate | 3:17 am

81. Could it be the team of theatre/film critics at the Daily Mail ganging up on you? In a nice way of course, just for a bit of fun
    “Who’s ma Bollah” and “bowled over in Basra”? LOL. Maybe a sports writer too

    rodney | 8:37 am

82. It’s got a whiff of the Harry Huttons about it. At least it wasn’t signed by Sol Kashberg.

    Daphne Wayne-Bough | 2:43 pm

83. petite, you’ve been spoofed! forget CNN, now you know you’ve made it.
    see you soon I hope, good luck with the air travel nightmare!

    maitresse | 6:02 pm

84. a search for Raumond Delauney on google turned in the most plausible answer for your quest:
    School for Scoundrels or How to Win Without Actually Cheating!

    papavert | 6:17 pm

85. I know of one PR consultant who goes by the name of Delauney. He is based in Britain, although I think he is of American origin.

    His CV says he worked on the successful Toilet Duck advertising campaign and helped one of the Goodies secure a lucrative book deal. I’m not sure if this is the same chap who has made contact with you.

    He’s strictly small bananas with ideas well above his station. I’m in the PR industry myself and he once contacted me a couple of years ago with an idea to advertise on birthday cakes. This was, and remains, the most preposterous proposal I have ever heard.

    Ralph | 7:07 pm

86. Oh no, not Toilet Duck Delauney, he’s off his trolley and is absolutely renowned for his preposterous proposals.

    Dilys Beresford -Smyth | 11:37 pm

87. It used to be called Oil of Ulan in Australia, then changed to Oil of Olay. ( there’s trivia for you… sigh…)

    simon | 1:02 am

88. It’s obviously some idiot having a laugh, wonder if he’s Jade Goody’s agent? Anyway this simpleton should be given short shrift. I like the blog, keep up the good work.

    Denis | 10:37 am

89. Ralph

    You’re right Birthday cake is a dumb idea! But Wedding cake though………hm!

    I can just picture it now……..

    Ann Summers
    Laura Ashley
    His n hers divorce lawyers
    Marriage Guidance
    Family Planning
    Delia Smith
    Mrs Beeton
    B+Q
    Homes + Gardens

    The list is endless and that’s without the more dubious ones. Maybe I should get myself an agent, wonder if Toilet Ducks’ free!

    Rev Goodenoughforme | 1:45 pm

90. Petite,

    Ew.. ick… I would be creeped out. Some comment above said it was well written. Nuh uh.

    I guess “Raymond” doesn’t know that agents wouldn’t ever take that much time to write an email. lol…

    Hmmm… be careful… Do you have a bat? Maybe mace?

    This guy has a freak flag and he’s flying it…

    …

    Rica | 3:27 pm

91. for the record, i swear it’s not me. i’m dead curious to know what the real story is, though, so please keep us posted!

    franko | 3:27 pm

92. Clear off all you twats, I want petite’s old blog back.

    suze | 4:46 pm

93. It’s never going to happen Suze,

    I found this site around the time Petite was “dooced” and about 2 days before she was outed. I was stunned by the breadth and quality of the posts and comforted by the obvious affection Petite engendered and the gentle humour in the comments. That was then and sadly (although it has generated a lot of humour that I love)this is now.

    I’m sure that once things settle a bit and Petite has room to breathe, think and grow this site will take on a new but recognisable dimension and she will once more be able to establish some boundaries and we will be able to respond appropriately.

    In the meantime change is what there is! Good for the heart, good for the soul and maybe good for Petite’s future publishers!

    Sorry if this sounds like I’m being pretentious or lecturing, that’s not my intent I just don’t know how to express it any other way.

    Stick with it - it can only get better!

    I just wish i had found this blog a few years ago.

    Tattieheid | 6:31 pm

94. A lame attempt at humor. Pretty labored and not very well written. If your e-mail software can’t filter them out, I’d hit “delete” without even reading them. If you don’t react he/she is more likely to get bored and go away. Give it all this prominence and the idiot is probably all a-twitter at having made a splash and will keep going.

    Passante | 7:19 pm

95. I am perplexed.

    Interesting state to be in……….how does it feel exactly ? I always think of perspex when I consider ‘perplexed’ because you could be perspicacious and anticipate that you might be perplexed, whereas it it were perspex everything would be so clear and transparent. Don’t you agree ?

    Rick | 7:47 pm

96. You’ve got me perplexed now, Rick,you seem to have a habit of talking in riddles.

    Thea Sharrock | 9:22 pm

97. Well, regarding recent reactions, it seems useless to deploy anymore IT tool to seek who R Delaunay might really be, indeed.
    A good isley at ze french “coal” looks like a better way to spend the evening and forget about any perplexity.

    Jacques Clouseau | 9:32 pm

98. I stumbled onto your site via another site and wondered about all the comments and then I found out about all the hoopla about the job thingy. Anyhoo, I love your writing, honest and real. Keep writing and I hope all the hoopla dies down soon enough as you have way too much talent to be distracted by all of the commotion. Blessings.

    dawn | 12:16 am

99. damn that was a funny read… (s)he is either for real or a great method actor/writer. his/her erratic format, flair and use of industry lingo was exactly how i envision this 30-something, martini-soaked, solicalite wanna be.

    i think it’s the real deal… what have you got to lose? go for it.

    m.

    m. | 4:45 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Comments are auto-closed after 10 days as an anti-spam measure. Sorry!